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Some of Ye greatest tweets:

On responsibility:

“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”

On the value of privacy:

“Sometimes I push the elevator close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary”

On diversity:

“Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.”

On giving credit where credit is due:

“I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle”

On hardship:

“Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on”

On fielding tough questions:

“I know everybody at Rolling Stone had one question on there mind… and the answer is… yes, the shoes are Dreis”

On disappointment:

“I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuugh”

On aesthetics:

“Sometimes I get emotional over fonts”

On knowing your strengths:

“I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!”

On professionalism:

“Never do coke with an intern … they may not be 21”

On looking good:

“She asked when is fashion week…. uuuum… I thought it was every week??!!”

On mathematics:

“My favorite unit of measurement is ‘a shit load.’”

On productive use of all 140 characters in a tweet:

“hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah aaand 140”

On making small talk:

“No seriously … I said my teeth are real diamonds… these are not fronts… I replaced my bottom row of teeth with diamonds”

On how to ring in the New Year (tweeted on Jan 1, 2011):


On online etiquette:

“You can basically say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end”

On humility:

“I have started a new company and I’m so excited about the name…. it’s got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!….”

On… we’re still figuring this one out:

“I just threw some kazoo on this bitch”

Posted on Friday, 8th of June 2012 with 22,904 notes
via : thegoldennerd , org : thesaltgod
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